• me: my arm hurts
  • mom: it's the computer
  • me: my eyes hurt
  • mom: it's the computer
  • me: i have a nosebleed
  • mom: it's the computer
  • me: i have a fever
  • mom: are you sure it's not the heat from the computer
  • me: im pregnant
  • mom: it's the computer
  • me: i fell down the stairs & hurt my tailbone
  • mom: the computer pushed you didnt it

When yah parents talking to they friends and you ready to go.
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olivagina:

why nash grier always gotta open his eyes so wide

(via olivagina)

lecterings:

'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.

(via lohanthony)

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like i don’t really understand how mackenzie & brooke are like still singing they’re literally just ok

alvaroruso13:

when youre in 1st place in Mario Kart and someone throws a blue shell

image 

(via lukasiakk)

nash-grier:

I truly love eating ass 

(via glorysandgore)